Craniofacial...

Sweet Sawyer has "a mild craniofacial disorder." Perhaps you wonder what this means.

Basically, as I understand it, it means that there's something unusual about how the bones of his skull are growing together.

Our skull is made up of several separate bones. When a baby is born, the bones aren't attached. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle. As the child grows, the edges of the bony pieces--called the sutures--grow together.

Sometimes the sutures close too early. This is called craniosynostosis. When that happens, there isn't room for the brain to grow, and the brain can be damaged. But surgery can separate the sutures and give room for the skull to grow properly.

We don't always know why a particular child has craniosynostosis. Sometimes it's a mystery. Sometimes, though, it's part of a recognized condition.

Ivan has Apert syndrome (pronounced a-PEAR), which includes craniosynostosis as well as fused fingers and toes. He also has a cleft palate, and because of that he can't speak. But he can understand what is said to him, and he can walk. Ivan is two and a half years old.


It's very important that Ivan get surgery on his skull soon, before the fusion of the bones begins to damage his brain. I don't know if it is possible for him to have the surgery in his country--it might be. But how wonderful it would be if his family would find him, and come for him! How wonderful for him to have a mom by his side as he goes through the surgery!

Where is Ivan's family?

And where is Sawyer's?

Happy Year of the Dragon!

It's raining here in Southern California today, which fits with the first day of the Year of the Water Dragon! The dragons of medieval European legend breathe fire, but Chinese dragons are thought to rule rivers and lakes, and to have the power to bring rain. In a desert land, rain is a good gift!

Chinese dragons are said to have a kind and benevolent nature, and to bring good fortune. We can pray that this year brings good things to these little ones waiting for their families in Asia~~

Like Jimmy. Who could resist this face? Jimmy will be five in March. He has Down Syndrome. He is said to be "quiet and playful," and curious about his world. He is being cared for in a foster family, who love him, but he needs a family of his own, forever.


Like Erika. She is two and a half, and has Down Syndrome. In this picture she's looking intently at the camera, but we're told she is playful, and likes to dance with adults. She needs a mom to dance with her!


Like Caleb. In the picture he's sitting, like a doll--but he's another active and playful one! Caleb has Down Syndrome, and turned four last November. Where is his family?

Pray for them, and for the other children in Asia waiting for families of their own--

and remember Valentin, and his family who are on their way to bring him love in this new year.

Orthodox Christmas...

It's funny to think that just as my Christmas season is winding up, in Eastern Europe it's now in full swing. But I like thinking that Christmas is stretching out that way.

One intangible gift I found today is that Valentin's new family has been announced. They have just begun their blog, to share their journey. (It's over on my sidebar too.)

Can't wait to see Valentin's world change.

imagine...

Imagine if you were confined to a crib a little smaller than a twin bed. You can lie down and you can move around, but your muscles don't work very well. And in any case, no one ever takes you out of the bed. People feed you and take care of your bodily needs, but no one ever brings you outside to look at the sky and the trees. No one even brings you into another room.

No one sits by you to talk to you or keep you company. No one brings you books to read. There's no TV to while away the hours, no mp3 player. There are other people in the room, but mostly they are sicker than you and can't talk to you.

This is how it is, day after day, month after month. Just emptiness that aches so much and your heart forgets what it longed for.

This is how it has been for Valentin.

Think of the effect that such confinement would have on the mind and spirit of a grown person. How much more for a young child whose mind and spirit are still developing, a child who needs to learn and explore so he can grow? If it were you or I in that crib, we would have things to think about. We could sing songs to ourselves, tell ourselves stories, pray. But what about a child who may not know any songs, who may not have heard any stories or learned to pray?

Coming out of darkness he blinks in bewilderment. He doesn't know how to understand the world he has been separate from for so long.

Valentin will need so much. He will need constant care; he will need physical therapy to help develop his muscles and occupational therapy to help him learn to use them. And he will need so much beyond this.

He will need someone to look into his eyes and smile, even when he doesn't know how to smile back. He will need someone to sing to him and speak loving words--someone to rub his back and play little piggy with his toes. Someone who will bring him outside to let him touch the grass and feel the wind ruffle his hair, and watch the squirrels run from tree to tree.

It will take time for him. But he needs to discover what it is to be cherished.


Edited to add: After I wrote this post, I discovered that Valentin is on the My Family Found Me page! I was sure it would not be long until a family stepped up for him.

May the time be short until he is at home!

Little boys and dinosaurs

I have a nephew about Valentin's age. Right now he is just wild about dinosaurs. On the playground he was getting acquainted with another little boy and was heard asking, "What do you know about dinosaurs?"

I was thinking about Sawyer. He might not know much about dinosaurs right now. But I think he would be fascinated by those big lizard creatures. He would like having small dinosaur figures to carry around with him. He would like learning to pronounce the long intriguing names, like Stegosaurus and Triceratops, and knowing which has horns over its eyebrows and which has spikes in its tail.

He would love having a chance to learn about fascinating things, and having a mom and dad to listen to him tell about it.

And Valentin. He is said to be "hungry for attention." He would like to have a mom and dad to sit with him and show him pictures and tell him about dinosaurs and planets and dragonflies. And to tell him that he is special and beloved.

Both of them would like that so much.

As the old year turns new...

A few days ago I began to write a post--but I did not have words to finish it.

I learned on Wednesday that Valentin will not be coming home yet.

The dad of his new family-to-be went to Valentin's country to meet him, intending to complete the adoption. He met Valentin and visited with him more than once. During those visits he found that Valentin's needs are more severe than had been realized. The family realized that, though they loved Valentin, they would not be able to give him the care he needs. And so they made the hard, hard decision not to proceed with the adoption.

I've linked to some of their blog posts so you can read their story in their words.

I have thought so much about Valentin these last few days. I thought of him this afternoon, asleep in his crib as the new year arrived in his country. I thought of him as we enjoyed New Year's eve with my parents and sisters, nieces and nephews.

I am remembering Valentin.



Edited to add: I began to write on Wednesday the 28th, but finished on Saturday the 31st. Just now I saw it was posted with a date of the 28th, so I have changed the date to reflect the time I actually finished and posted. - Desert Lily, 2 January 2012

The most amazing gift...

Sweet Valentin doesn't know it, he has no idea, but he is about to receive the most incredible Christmas present. He will meet his new dad-to-be on Monday.

To us it's a day late, but in Eastern Europe it's nearly two weeks early! They celebrate Christmas on January 6.

In any case, in just a few days this little boy will discover that he has a family waiting to welcome him.

I am sure that angels are crowding round eager to see that first meeting. How many angels can fit into one room where a little boy will meet his new dad?

My hope is that Sawyer, too, one day soon, will see his new parents for the first time.